The End is near

Two of my very close friends are going through a divorce... they have been married for 20 years and he has been having an affair with another married woman for at least the past few months... my heart is broken for both of them and for my hope of the happily ever after...

You see if these two couldn't make it work... then I'm afraid there isn't much hope for the rest of us. Sad but true... I have grown up and been surrounded by people who never truly followed their wedding vows because apparently when you stand up in front of family and friends and pledge to love this person in sickness and in health and 'till death do us part... what you really mean is in good times maybe bad if they aren't too bad... in sickness only if it's the sniffles and in good health, and until I stop loving you or find someone better...

They were one of the few couples that I have known that have been together for 20 years and still went on dates and so obviously carried a torch for the other still... it was inspiring... something I desperately wanted... or so I thought.

Now I grant you know one knows what love is like behind closed doors unless you are one of them, but they seemed so happy and it didn't appear to just be on the surface... it appeared genuine and true, but maybe it was just that an illusion or maybe it really was that way until the clause in the vows came into effect... until I find someone better.

Makes you sad...

It's also incredibly difficult being friends with both, because people seem to be picking sides you can't be on both it's just one or the other... I'm trying to stay over here in Switzerland... she is absolutely heart broken, didn't see it coming and is now completely devastated. He won't really talk to anyone about anything so no one really knows how he's feeling... I almost can't say I blame him... he's probably embarrassed and depending on how you feel about marriage he did or didn't do the right thing... I've always been conflicted on marriage, I don't think you should stay if you don't love that person anymore it's not far to anyone. My issue is more with the words that are said in the vows, to me they seem incredibly unrealistic.

I'm trying to be there for her and for him at the same time... but it's challenging... I love them both and want both of them to get through this... I've known him longer but I care for them equally and I don't want either to feel that I'm taking sides... I just feel like I'm at a standstill... I'm not sure how she's going to get past this... even with all the people that care about her so much being there for... I suppose time will tell.