"Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels."
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
"Unguarded strength is a double weakness"
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The End is near
Two of my very close friends are going through a divorce... they have been married for 20 years and he has been having an affair with another married woman for at least the past few months... my heart is broken for both of them and for my hope of the happily ever after...
You see if these two couldn't make it work... then I'm afraid there isn't much hope for the rest of us. Sad but true... I have grown up and been surrounded by people who never truly followed their wedding vows because apparently when you stand up in front of family and friends and pledge to love this person in sickness and in health and 'till death do us part... what you really mean is in good times maybe bad if they aren't too bad... in sickness only if it's the sniffles and in good health, and until I stop loving you or find someone better...
They were one of the few couples that I have known that have been together for 20 years and still went on dates and so obviously carried a torch for the other still... it was inspiring... something I desperately wanted... or so I thought.
Now I grant you know one knows what love is like behind closed doors unless you are one of them, but they seemed so happy and it didn't appear to just be on the surface... it appeared genuine and true, but maybe it was just that an illusion or maybe it really was that way until the clause in the vows came into effect... until I find someone better.
Makes you sad...
It's also incredibly difficult being friends with both, because people seem to be picking sides you can't be on both it's just one or the other... I'm trying to stay over here in Switzerland... she is absolutely heart broken, didn't see it coming and is now completely devastated. He won't really talk to anyone about anything so no one really knows how he's feeling... I almost can't say I blame him... he's probably embarrassed and depending on how you feel about marriage he did or didn't do the right thing... I've always been conflicted on marriage, I don't think you should stay if you don't love that person anymore it's not far to anyone. My issue is more with the words that are said in the vows, to me they seem incredibly unrealistic.
I'm trying to be there for her and for him at the same time... but it's challenging... I love them both and want both of them to get through this... I've known him longer but I care for them equally and I don't want either to feel that I'm taking sides... I just feel like I'm at a standstill... I'm not sure how she's going to get past this... even with all the people that care about her so much being there for... I suppose time will tell.
You see if these two couldn't make it work... then I'm afraid there isn't much hope for the rest of us. Sad but true... I have grown up and been surrounded by people who never truly followed their wedding vows because apparently when you stand up in front of family and friends and pledge to love this person in sickness and in health and 'till death do us part... what you really mean is in good times maybe bad if they aren't too bad... in sickness only if it's the sniffles and in good health, and until I stop loving you or find someone better...
They were one of the few couples that I have known that have been together for 20 years and still went on dates and so obviously carried a torch for the other still... it was inspiring... something I desperately wanted... or so I thought.
Now I grant you know one knows what love is like behind closed doors unless you are one of them, but they seemed so happy and it didn't appear to just be on the surface... it appeared genuine and true, but maybe it was just that an illusion or maybe it really was that way until the clause in the vows came into effect... until I find someone better.
Makes you sad...
It's also incredibly difficult being friends with both, because people seem to be picking sides you can't be on both it's just one or the other... I'm trying to stay over here in Switzerland... she is absolutely heart broken, didn't see it coming and is now completely devastated. He won't really talk to anyone about anything so no one really knows how he's feeling... I almost can't say I blame him... he's probably embarrassed and depending on how you feel about marriage he did or didn't do the right thing... I've always been conflicted on marriage, I don't think you should stay if you don't love that person anymore it's not far to anyone. My issue is more with the words that are said in the vows, to me they seem incredibly unrealistic.
I'm trying to be there for her and for him at the same time... but it's challenging... I love them both and want both of them to get through this... I've known him longer but I care for them equally and I don't want either to feel that I'm taking sides... I just feel like I'm at a standstill... I'm not sure how she's going to get past this... even with all the people that care about her so much being there for... I suppose time will tell.
Bucket List
En light of my epiphany the other night and feeling as though I have so many things I want to do... I have decided to start a bucket list of things I want to do, places I want to see and people I want to meet before my demise...
1. Backpack through Eastern Europe
2. Visit family in Germany
3. Travel to Australia see the opera house, Sydney and the Great Outback
4. Travel to Africa
5. Always keep improving and learning new things
6. Be a good friend
7. Be a good listener
8. Buy a house (done)
9. Don't focus too much on negative things
10. Get out of debt
11. No regrets
12. Be a person to be proud of
13. See the Grand Canyon
14. Be healthy
15. Keep secrets
16. Learn something new every day
17. Never be ashamed of who I am
18. Travel to New Zealand
19. Get nursing degree
20. Remember birthdays and anniversaries
21. Spend more time with family
22. Take time for friends
23. Travel to Thailand
(To be continued...)
1. Backpack through Eastern Europe
2. Visit family in Germany
3. Travel to Australia see the opera house, Sydney and the Great Outback
4. Travel to Africa
5. Always keep improving and learning new things
6. Be a good friend
7. Be a good listener
8. Buy a house (done)
9. Don't focus too much on negative things
10. Get out of debt
11. No regrets
12. Be a person to be proud of
13. See the Grand Canyon
14. Be healthy
15. Keep secrets
16. Learn something new every day
17. Never be ashamed of who I am
18. Travel to New Zealand
19. Get nursing degree
20. Remember birthdays and anniversaries
21. Spend more time with family
22. Take time for friends
23. Travel to Thailand
(To be continued...)
Catching up with old friends...
A friend of mine was in town this weekend from Portland, and I was able to get the night off and hang out with her. In hanging out with her I got to see some other old friends from High School too. We had a blast telling stories and catching up. Then in listening to some of their stories I started to get jealous. Here we all are nearly 30, and I thought I was doing good, I'm building a life for myself... I just bought a house, I have a great job, that I love and have been doing for the past 7 years. I'm thinking about going back to school and getting my nursing degree... then in dawned on me... I've been BUILDING a life... they've been LIVING a life!
They've all traveled all over the world, and been to all kinds of concerts and gotten to see some of the best bands in the world at some of the best places... and what have I been doing... WORKING?!?!?! Granted most of them barely have a dime to their name... but how incredible is that... one friend lived in Guatemala for a year! He was completely immersed in their culture for an entire year! That's incredible! I've done some traveling but there are still so many places I want to see and things I want to do! They've lived their life the way I've always wanted... one day at a time... embrace each day as though it's your last! Who cares about tomorrow, I'll worry about it if I wake up then...
Makes you think...
They've all traveled all over the world, and been to all kinds of concerts and gotten to see some of the best bands in the world at some of the best places... and what have I been doing... WORKING?!?!?! Granted most of them barely have a dime to their name... but how incredible is that... one friend lived in Guatemala for a year! He was completely immersed in their culture for an entire year! That's incredible! I've done some traveling but there are still so many places I want to see and things I want to do! They've lived their life the way I've always wanted... one day at a time... embrace each day as though it's your last! Who cares about tomorrow, I'll worry about it if I wake up then...
Makes you think...
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